Forgiveness Brings Healing

Growing up, I never had a close relationship with my parents. My mom was the primary disciplinarian because my dad, a hard-working farmer, was absent most of the time. In my teen years, I remember my mom always comparing me to my sister, who was older than me. Whether she realized it or not, her constant nagging and cutting words hurt me deeply and caused feelings of anxiety and unworthiness. Warranted or not, I felt like a failure and that I could never measure up. As years passed, hatred for my mom grew. I remember that I counted down the days until my graduation so I could leave home and finally be free of her. When that day finally came, I could hardly wait to be out the door. Except for Christmas and special occasions, I never went home to visit nor had the desire to do so.

Years later, I met Jesus! My whole life was transformed, and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Although I was set free from sin and many addictions, my relationship with my mom was not yet restored. I knew that the Lord had changed my heart, and the hatred for my mom was gone, so I assumed I had forgiven her. But what happened is the hatred turned to indifference. One night the Lord began to speak to me about this. He told me that my indifference was, in fact, unforgiveness. I began to weep. I repented and let go of every offence. With every tear I shed in forgiveness, my heart was being washed clean. I experienced a new freedom and joy that I had never experienced before. The next time I saw my mom, I was overwhelmed by such a godly love for her. To this day, our relationship has never been better.

Harbouring any type of offence will rob you of your freedom and joy and ultimately hinder your relationship with the Lord. My only regret is that I never forgave my mom sooner because of the many years of relationship we were robbed of, not to mention the prison it kept me in.

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Kelly Hamilton
Saskatoon, SK
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